L'arma segreta nella gestione efficace dello stress per avvocate e avvocati

Have you ever experienced, in the challenges of daily life, those small unpleasant sensations, like having cold and sweaty hands just when you're about to shake hands with the general manager for the first time? Or your heart beating so hard it clouds your thoughts, right before an important speech during a meeting? Or your voice becoming shrill and breaking in your throat during a public conference?

Well, if this has happened to you, it means you are human and your body is working just as it was programmed to do.

Because these “unpleasant” sensations are nothing more than the sign of the activation of a system in our body, to which we, as a human species, owe our survival.

It is the Sympathetic Autonomic Nervous System

This system is programmed to activate when we perceive threatening stimuli, and its activation, which modulates part of our “stress response,” is evolutionarily programmed to put our body in a position to fight or flee (fight or flight), the only valid options when faced with a threat to our survival. The pupils dilate to allow us to better see the field and identify escape routes, sweating increases to lower temperature and better withstand effort, the heart beats faster to pump blood to the muscles, which in turn tense up to facilitate a quick reaction, the stomach and intestines stop and try to “empty” as much as possible to facilitate escape, the throat muscles tighten to emit shrill and inarticulate sounds that can reach as far as possible, we are less clear-headed because the blood is concentrated in the muscles and not the brain, because if there is an alarm we need to run and get to safety, reasoning and analyzing can come later.

But if this reaction is physiological, why do we see stress as a problem? Why do we know it's risky and something that isn't good for us?

The answer lies in the fact that this activation is programmed to be short-term. To turn on, get us to safety, and turn off. Originally, it was like this. In the “flat” life of a Homo Neanderthalensis (or any mammal), threatening stimuli were relatively few, external and clearly visible, and matched well with a burst of activation that, once the danger was averted, would turn off.

Thanks to the activation of another system, mirroring the first, which touches and envelops exactly the same organs and functions.

The Parasympathetic Autonomic Nervous System

This other system is the one that, when activated, allows our body to slow down, to digest, to be “tender” and friendly (rest and digest, tender and be friend). When it is activated, the pupils constrict to allow us to look better and deeper at nearby stimuli, the heart slows down because it only needs to pump the blood necessary for regular physiological processes, the stomach and intestines take their time to digest, the muscles relax because there is no need to be ready to react, the throat loosens to allow us to modulate low and sweet sounds, blood reaches the brain and exchanges oxygen, allowing us to reason long-term, interpret, and plan.

Our body, being a perfect machine, is designed to allow a continuous exchange between these two systems which, when running at full capacity, engage in a dance of activation of one and then the other, in a magical dynamic balance that translates into the sensation of “feeling well.”

And so, if this is the original design,

what jams the mechanism and causes us discomfort, makes us feel stressed?

The answer lies in too much activation of our Sympathetic System. Because in our daily lives, the stimuli we register as threatening have increased exponentially. There are external ones that arrive and disrupt the day: an argument with the boss, an email that arrives just before dinner, the ATM swallowing your card during a withdrawal and the helpline not working. But, even more central, are the reactions we have to these stimuli. Negative thoughts that creep in at every moment, especially when we are under pressure and have a goal to achieve, recurring images, worries about the consequences of our actions and those of others, guilt, sense of duty, frustration, anger, helplessness. A pack of predators attacking us continuously, without giving us time to rest, to feel safe. This pushes our body to take a defensive position and, in turn, this is read by our brain as proof of the tangible presence of the threat which, coming from within, is impossible to fight or escape. And it becomes a cycle.

And here comes the other great difficulty, which contributes to jamming our perfect machine. Because to guarantee balance, it is not enough to deactivate the Sympathetic System, we must activate the Parasympathetic System. To do this, it is necessary that our sensations, our perceptual system, communicate to us that we are safe, that we can let our guard down and feel gratitude for what we have around us and have built, feel appreciated and appreciate, have time to do what gives us pleasure, enjoy those moments of absence of threat.

Rebalancing these systems may seem impossible, because the biggest pitfall is already in their name. They are Autonomic systems, disconnected from our voluntary control. We can invest time and energy in commanding our heart to beat more slowly, but it won't, it will continue to react to something that seems invisible.

But the reset point of this machine does exist. Because the Autonomic Nervous System is very well connected to our brain, just not directly to the part of the brain that creates the thoughts we hear, from which the explicit commands we give ourselves depart, the prefrontal cortex. Instead, it is connected to a deeper layer of the brain, the subcortical structures, where emotions are generated and where the basic processes of our survival originate, such as breathing.

Breathing as a strategic resource

And it is precisely by using this resource that we can rebalance our systems. Learning to breathe calmly, relaxed, putting our body in the condition to activate the Parasympathetic system and thus communicate to the “thought machine” that everything is ok, that at that precise moment we are safe. And supporting this with the search for emotions that accompany this sense of security: gratitude, appreciation, care.

Learning to use and play with our breath will also allow us to use it, in a complementary way, to recharge our energy and activate our organism when we are tired and unfocused.

It is a constant training, which cannot be separated from asking ourselves what prevents us from feeling safe, why our mind-body system perceives a threat where, perhaps, there is only an email. Every individual is unique and unrepeatable, and each of us will react differently to different stimuli. So it is from self-awareness and knowledge of oneself and one's functioning that the return to balance will be born.

The goal will not be to erase stress, to never have sweaty hands at an important moment or a broken voice, but to recognize these reactions as entirely your own and special, not to feel overwhelmed by their inevitability, but rather to learn to play with them, to calm them, to convert them, to communicate to our body and mind “relax, it's not a threat, you are fine, here and now you are safe” and give yourself the opportunity to express your potential at its best in that very moment, whether it concerns your performance or your ability to relate to others, in our sphere of personal effectiveness.

For more information or insights, contact me directly:

Chiara Cosentino

I am a psychologist and I have a PhD in clinical psycho-physiology. I am an expert in integrated psycho-body relaxation and stress management techniques including Biofeedback, Autogenic Training, and IBP. I apply these skills in coaching and workshops for the lawyer clients of our firm.